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All Deviations




“Arizona”

You left your daughter’s socks at my house,
tiny and white on my bedroom floor.
I laundered them, and they rest on my dresser.

The socks are out of place,
    too small for anyone living here,
       but I cannot discard them.

                                        Sometimes I sleep
                             and find myself in your car.  
                    Here is where clouds are sugar-spun,
                    blowing across the dash.  

Rainfall breaks it, the miles stack themselves
atop each other, bales of hay until the border,
and I am awake all night.
Details
Submitted: April 9
File Size: 1.4 KB
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Comments: 6
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Author's Comments

Napo #9

I miss :iconcaveatlector: so much. BFF :(
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*monkgryphon:iconmonkgryphon: Apr 11, 2008, 6:13:37 PM
Holy crap... I'm confused.

Mechanics are great, vocabulary is verbose, imagery is sweet and gives me a sense of longing and as if you miss someone. The feeling is well portrayed, and maybe, just maybe, that's all you wanted to do. Make me feel sad :(

--
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

==Mark Twain
~caveatLECTOR:iconcaveatLECTOR: Apr 11, 2008, 6:22:30 PM
hard love.

--
ameliawesome
=======
<smoking-mirrors>I love a guy who can make me groan.
<jake10684>but after a week or so, it's like fisting a jar of mayonnaise.
<Bringa>although lesbian incest sounds good too.
`PinkyMcCoversong:iconPinkyMcCoversong: Apr 11, 2008, 11:44:44 PM
so much.

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< GunShyMartyr > PinkyMcCoversong: o hi asl plz
< PinkyMcCoversong > GunShyMartyr: ask again in a cockney accent
< GunShyMartyr > ELLO daaaahling, what's yah name then. giveus a kiss would ya love? yer eighteen roite?
`PinkyMcCoversong:iconPinkyMcCoversong: Apr 11, 2008, 11:45:38 PM
i just wanted to finish a poem for napo! but yeah, it is meant to be sad. i'm not sure what is confusing though, so details could help me edit!

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< GunShyMartyr > PinkyMcCoversong: o hi asl plz
< PinkyMcCoversong > GunShyMartyr: ask again in a cockney accent
< GunShyMartyr > ELLO daaaahling, what's yah name then. giveus a kiss would ya love? yer eighteen roite?
*monkgryphon:iconmonkgryphon: Apr 12, 2008, 8:54:42 AM
In the first two stanzas, you remain on the idea of the socks, but after that you go into a few different ideas. I couldn't really understand how they were all connected, but I also don't know what you're truly feeling except the fact that all the ideas are sad, and almost a hint of regret.

--
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

==Mark Twain
`PinkyMcCoversong:iconPinkyMcCoversong: Apr 12, 2008, 12:07:38 PM
ok thanks

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< GunShyMartyr > PinkyMcCoversong: o hi asl plz
< PinkyMcCoversong > GunShyMartyr: ask again in a cockney accent
< GunShyMartyr > ELLO daaaahling, what's yah name then. giveus a kiss would ya love? yer eighteen roite?